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H  E 

CO 


SOCI  A 
M  E  DY. 


"  The  'ivorld  is  a  comedy  to  those  that  think." — Horace   W alpole 


NEW  YORK 
LIFE  PUBLISHING  COMPANY, 
1906. 


Copyright,  1902, 
by 

FE  PUBLISHING  COMPANY, 
New  York  City. 


FOURTH  EDITION. 


THE  SCHILLING  PRESS,  NEW  YORK. 


The  Social  Comedy 


The   Soctai,  Comedy 


She:    Why  such  a  hurry  to  marry,  Dick?    We've  only  been  engaged  three  months. 
"Yes,  I  know ;  but  I  am  afraid  you  will  get  tired  of  me." 


The    Social  Comedy 


NOT  TO  BLAME. 
The  Elderly  Lady:    They  say  his  wife  has  money. 

"Well,  that  isn't  his  fault.    They've  only  been  married  a  short  time.' 


The    Social  Comedy 


AN  INTERCEPTED  VALENTINE. 


The   Social  Comedy 


For  love  is  Heaven. 

— The  Lay  of  the  Last  Minstrel. 


The  Social 


C  o  M  b:  d  y 


The   Social  Comedy 


The  Social 


C  ()  M  E  I)  V 


Rl'XONSIDERED. 
You  need  not  fear.    I  shall  do  nothing  desperate  liecause  you  have  refused  me. 

"Then,  darling,  I  repent.    It  was  only  the  thought  that  you  might  do  something  romantic  that  made  me  refuse  you 


The    Social  Coiniedy 


She:    But  why  look  so  blue?    Papa  says  he  will  buy  all  my  clothes  after  we  are  married. 
"I  was  wondering  what  we  would  have  to  eat." 


T  H  K     S  O  C  I  A  I, 


C  O  ]\I  E  I  )  V 


The  Social 


C  o  ]\I  E  D  Y 


MAROONED. 


The    Social  Coj^iedy 


THE  i\IAIN  POINT. 

'How  can  you  want  to  marry  my  daughter  if  you  have  never  met  her  ami  know  nothing  about  her?' 
"But  I  know  all  about  }-ou,  sir." 


The    Sociai.  Coimedy 


ST.  VALENTINE'S  DAY. 
After  the  campaign. 


The   Social  Coimedy 


RETRIBUTION. 


He  {just  acccMcd) :    I  must  go  now  and  break  my  engagement  with  Helen.    She'll  make  a  row. 
She  {sotto  voce):    So  will  you  when  I  break  our  engagement. 


The   Social  Comedo 


Bridegroom :  It  v;as  fine  of  your  father  to  provide  you  witli  such  a  trousseau.    It  lielps  u-^  out  wonderfully. 
"Doesn't  it  ?    Why   I  slian't  need  any  more  clothes  fur  nearly  a  month." 


T  H  I'    Social  Comedy 


The   Social  Comedy 


"They  say  poor  Clara  consulted  the  stars  before  marrying  him."' 
"And  what  was  the  result?" 

"They  all  gave  him  a  good  character  except  one  vaudeville  star." 


The  Social 


C  o  ISI  E  D  Y 


He:     It  is  notliing  against  her  that  she  is  l)eniitiful 

"Decidedly  not !    Such  heant\-  as  that  can  only  be  acquired." 


The   Social  Comedy 


The   Social  Comedy 


A  MYSTERY 
Which  was  afterwards  explained. 


The   Social  Comedy 


"Cheer  up,  George.     Why  are  you  so  sombre?" 
"Didn't  you  liear  I  lost  my  wife  last  week?" 

"Bless  me  !    That  was  very  careless  of  you  !" 


The    Social  Comedy 


Jessie:    Is  there  anything  more  embarrassing  than  blushing  when  you  shouldn't? 
"Yes ;  not  blushing  when  you  should." 


The   Social  Comedy 


CHRISTMAS  EVE  WITH  COONTOWN'S  FOUR  HUNDRED. 

The  Chairman :    By  de  ananamus  consent  ob  de  partisipents  in  dis  ebenin's  festivities,  de  prize  fo'  de  mos'  gorgeous  com- 
parisoned  couple  am  awarded  to  Brer  Whiffles  and  lady,  a  pair  ob  inlaid  walnut  finished  hair  brushes. 


The  Social 


C  O  ]M  E  D  V 


Despairing  .Irtist:    Now.  if  Mrs.  Hardy  had  a  more  cheerful  expression  

The  Old  Man:    Jam.',  he  wants  you  to  stop  thinking  about  me,  the  cook's  going,  and  your  other  trials,  and  put  your 
mind  on  Maria's  new  baby. 


The   Social  Coimedy 


"Why  did  you  kiss  me?' 

"Well,  I  heard  you  were  a  woman  with  a  past,  and  I  thought  I  would  give  you  a  little  present." 


The   Social  Comedy 


She:    I  don't  think  mother  likes  to  have  me  sit  alone  with  you. 
"Why  not?" 

"Well,  she  is  afraid  you  might  try  to  kiss  me." 


The   Social  Comedy 


The    Social  Comedy 


"Now,  auntie,  you  know  I  want  to  marry  Jack,  and  you  know  you  are  going  to  leave  me  all  your  money  so  we  can  set 
ourselves  up  nicely." 

"But  good  gracious,  child,  I  am  not  going  to  die  yet!" 

"Of  course  you're  not,  you  dear  old  thing,  and  I  wouldn't  have  you  for  the  world.  But  don't  you  ever  get  any  fun  out 
of  anticipation?" 


The   Social  Comedy 


"But,  Sappho,  in  marrying  this  Chinaman,  have  you  thought  of  what  your  children  will  be?" 
"Yes'm.    I  know  they'll  be  Jews,  but  I  can't  help  it." 


The   Social  Comedy 


The   Social  Comedy 


The  Social 


Comedy 


Tom:  I  signed  a  lease  with  you  the  other  day  for  those  bachelor  apartments  on  the  fifth  floor.  I  want  to  make  a 
change  in  it. 

Agent:    Very  well,  sir.    What  is  it? 

"I  want  to  change  it  from  six  months  to  ten  years." 


The   Social  Comedy 


GLIMPSES  AT  THE  FUTURE. 
Snapshot  at  upper  Fifth  Avenue  in  1930. 


The   Social  Coimedy 


UP-TO-DATE  PROTRAITURE. 


"I  have  been  working  on  this  woman  now  for  five  weeks." 
"And  not  yet  successful  ?" 

"No.    She  still  complains  that  the  picture  looks  like  her." 


The   Social  Comedy 


"I  thought  you  told  me  you  were  well  off  before  you  married  me?" 
"I  am  sure  of  it  now,  my  dear !" 


The   Social  Coimedy 


A  DOMESTIC  DIFFERENCE. 

can  put  up  with  it  no  longer,  madam;  I  leave  the  house  forever;  you  will  not  see  me  again  until 
last  day." 

"And  let  it  be  well  along  in  the  afternoon,  dear." 


The   Social  Comedy 


The    Social    C  o  :\r  e  d  y 


She:    If  I  let  you  kiss  me  this  once,  will  you  promise  never  to  ask  me  again? 
He:    Certainly,  dear,  if  you  consider  it  unnecessary. 


The   Social  Comedy 


BROADWAY— PAST  AND  PRESENT. 
In  the  sixteenth  century.  In  the  twentieth  century. 


The   Social  Comedy 


Chorister:     I  think  music  helps  religion. 
The  Clergyman  (reflectively) :    No  doubt — no  doubt:  and  then  again,  we  need  religion  to  help  us  bear  up. 

under   some  music. 


The   Social  Comedy 


"Come  along,  Martin,  let's  go  to  the  hanging." 
"Hangin?    Hangin'?   Who's  going  to  be  hanged  ?" 
"Jim  Sanders.    Come  along." 

"No,  thanks.    He's  no  friend  of  mine." 


The    Social    C  o  im  e  d  y 


She:    I  will  send  your  presents  back  to-morrow. 

"No  hurry.    I  don't  expect  to  be  engaged  again  for  a  week  or  so." 


The   Social  Comedy 


vl   1  ' 


«1SPM    f  FRE&H  HOR&t.Ni&H-r  COAT  )  DROPPING  A  ^■.-^-^^lEI>  pAi^  AT  THt 

Q    \v        ■  •      \  ■  .  ThE^TKE 

^^■■^kJ.,          (Tlf-   ABOUT    ISCENT&J  .     >_  ., 

I    Seen  on  Bao ad w^~( ' 


■WA\T1NS  fOR.  CnA«Lty  AND 

Little  TRiE^rofK-OM THE  chorusj 

(ATIPoF  S0CENT5,iF  HEMEflSHtR; 
If  HE  DOES  wot;  2.5  CENTS.) 


4 


A  FEW  HOURS  IN  THE  LIFE  OF  A  HANSOM. 


The  Social 


Comedy 


DEGREES  OF  FOLLY. 

"There's  no  fool  like  an  old  fool." 
"No.    Unless  it's  the  young  fool  who  wants  to  marry  the  old  fool." 


The    Social  Coimedy 


"So  you"ve  gone  and  got  married,  too,  eh?    Good  for  you,  old  chap!" 
"Are  you  offering  your  congratulations  or  bidding  for  my  sympathy?" 


The 


Social 


Comedy 


The   Social  Comedy 


"You  look  tired,  Edith." 

"Tired!    I  have  had  this  thing  for  two  hours,  and  neither  of 
us  speaks  the  other's  language !" 


The  Social 


Co  WE'D  Y 


"Can  I  see  your  mistress?" 

Nezv  Servant:    She  isn't  dressed  yet,  sir,  but  I'll  ask  her. 


The   Social  Coimedy 


THE  LITERARY  .MOVEMENT  IN  AMERICA. 

"You  should  join  our  book  club.  Why,  last  winter  I  read  over  a  hundred  books  by  giving  five  minutes  a 
day.  I  read  Nansen's  'Prisoner  of  Zenda,'  Hall  Caine's  'Quo  Vadis,'  Allen's  'Christian.'  Julian  Hawthorne's 
'Choir  Invisible,'  and  Hope's  'Farthest  North." 

"How  charming  I" 


The    Social  Coimedy 


VARIETY. 


Miss  Niblick:     Don't  you  get  tired  of  playing  golf  all  the  time? 

Miss  Brassic:    Oh,  yes.  I  often  feel  as  if  I  would  like  to  stop  playing  and  just  sit  down  and  talk  ahout  it. 


The   Social  Coiviedy 


The    Social  Co^medy 


LASTING  IMPRESSIONS. 

Dick  Hcavystepper  (szvcetly) :    I  shall  remember  this  dance  for  many  a  long  day. 

"So  shall  I." 


The    Social  Coimedy 


The    Social  Comedy 


IN  BOSTON. 


His  Nezv  York  Aunt:    Then  your  little  brother's  education  must  have  been  neglected. 
Boston  Boy:    Yes,  indeed !    Why,  he  doesn't  know  the  rudiments  of  metaphysics ! 


The    Social  Comedy 


One  Week 

BY  CKrolYA  We[(s 


The   Social  Coimedy 


A  FOND  CRITIC. 


Wife  of  His  Bosom:  Lovely,  dear,  lovely!  But  I  think  those  sheep  look  too  much  like  clouds — er — that 
is — of  course — darling — unless  they  are  clouds. 


The    Social  Coimedy 


THE  DIFFERENCE. 


"So  he  married  your  girl?" 

"No;   I   failed  to  marry  his,   it  seems." 


The    Social  Comedy 


SHOCKING. 


He:    She  is  a  brilliant  woman;  she  shows  great  familiarity  with  the  poets. 
"Heavens!"  shrieked  the  old  maid;  "does  her  husband  know  it?" 


The   Social  Coimedy 


GLIMPSES  INTO  THE  FUTURE. 
The  stage  in  the  near  future,  as  promised  by  present  indications. 


The   Social  Comedy 


The   Social  Comedy 


"If  a  woman  loves  her  husband,  Ethel,  she  will  give  up  everything  to  him !" 

"That  is  a  noble  sentiment,  my  dear,  which  George  and  his  creditors  will  appreciate,  I'm  sure." 


The  Social 


C  O  INI  E  D  Y 


The   Social  Coimedy 


BETTER  LATE  THAN  NEVER. 


"I  hope  this  proposal  of  mine  hasn't  taken  you  completely  by  surprise,  dearest; 
"Well,  yes,  it  has.    I  long  ago  abandoned  all  idea  of  it." 


The  Social 


C     J.I  E  D  V 


The   Social  Comedy 


Mar 

Said  Father  Tempun,  I  have  a  plan,   But  the  strain  was  so  great  (hat  by  and  by  ^^^/  :rs 
i^.V        rru  going  to  liweiir  off  on  the  first  of  He  .las  taken  with  fever  in  ~'  <^ 


JAN. 


was  so  great 
vith  fever  i 

JULY. 


Bnt  his  re.iohition  liegan  to  ebb, 
Be  was  two  days  shy  b;/ the  end  of 


FEB. 


He  only  just  escaped  the  morgue, 
His  temperature  was  so  high  in 


AUG. 


Then  he  lost  his  temper  and  went  so  far 
As  to  bawl  and  bluster  all  through 


MAR. 


Never  were  resolutions  kept 
So  well  as  in  convalescent 


SEPT. 


He  puffed  and  blew  till  he  spoiled  his  shape,         When  he  recovered  the  world  utas  shocked, 


So  he  took  the  water  cure  in 


A  P. 


He  took  a  shower  bath  every  day, 
And  was  most  disagreeable  all  through 

MAY. 


For  hepainted  the  country  red  in 

OCT. 

Then  he  howled  and  raged  like  a  fiend  m  love. 
He  was  full  as  could  be  of  remorse  in 

NOV. 


Then  Summer  came  and  he  changed  his  tmie—  IVsplain,  said  he,  this  thing  must  cease. 
Any  Fool  can  be  good  in  Til  swear  off  again— at  the  end  of 

DEC 

Oliver  Herford, 


III 

JUNE. 


tst  '^'^ 


The  Social 


Comedy 


"Isn't  it  terrible  the  way  pugilists  pound  one  another?        It  only  goes  to  show  what  people  will  do  for  money." 
"But  a  prize-fight  only  lasts  for  an  hour.    What  is  that  to  marrying  for  money." 


The   Social  Coiniedy 


He:    How  could  you  lead  me  on,  when  you  knew  all  the  time  I  was  in  love  with  you? 
"Why,  if  you  hadn't  been,  how  could  I  have  done  it?" 


The    Social  Comedy 


"How  happy  could  cither  fair  charmer  be,  were  fotlier  fair  chaiiiier  away!" 


The   Social  Comedy 


THE  DRAMA  IN  NEW  YORK. 


"I  wish  to  go  on  the  stage  and  would  like  your  opinion  as  to  my  chances  of  success; 
"Well,  did  you  bring  your  tights?" 


The   Social  Coiviedy 


"That  old  fellow  coming  was  carried  from  the  railroad  accident  all  smashed  up,  and  he  wouldn't  even  acknowledge 
he  was  hurt.   Must  be  a  Christian  Scientist." 
"No.    President  of  the  road." 


The   Social  Comedy 


"We  have  always  been  enemies,  and  now  we  love  the  same  girl.'' 
"How  tragic !    I  wish  I  could  help  you." 
"You  can.    You  are  the  girl." 


The   Social  Comedy 


''I  had  no  idea  that  you  were  in  love  with  me." 

"Neither  had  I,  until  I  proposed  and  you  rejected  me." 


The   Social  Comedy 


^be  Cure  of 
St. 


THE  tangled  roses  twist  and  bloom 
Against  the  garden  wall, 
So  thick  they  leave  but  scanty  room 

For  the  ripened  peach  to  tali. 
Among  the  stately  hollyhocks 

The  wild  bee  drones  and  veers. 
And  here  at  eve  he  always  walks, 
The  Cure  of  St.  Cyr's. 


The  village  knows  the  kindly  face, 

The  old  hat's  broken  rim  ; 
The  veriest  baby  in  the  place 

Flings  out  a  smile  to  him. 
The  gentle  hand,  the  silvered  hair. 

The  look  that  chides  or  cheers; 
He  always  has  a  laugh  to  spare. 

The  Cure  of  St.  Cyr's. 


lis  house  is  small  and  dismal,  yet 

His  treasures  are  not  few ; 
An  old  flute  and  a  silhouette, 

A  cherished  book  or  two. 
Still,  rumor  says  that  long  ago. 

In  dim,  forgotten  years. 
His  life  had  other  gifts  to  show. 
The  Cure  of  St.  Cyr's. 

He  was  a  soldier  of  the  king — 

A  courtier  learned  in  bliss ; 
No  man  can  say  what  made  him  fling 

The  old  life  by  for  this. 
He  bears,  instead  of  love  and  mirth, 

The  parish  hopes  and  fears— 
The  little  burdens  of  the  earth— 

The  Cure  of  St.  Cyr's. 

The  sunshine  floods  his  garden  ways, 

The  rose  nods  to  the  wind. 
Who  knows  if  he  regrets  the  days 

He  left  so  long  behind? 
Perhaps  the  silhouette  could  tell— 

Whose  face  has  felt  his  tears — 
Methinks  she  knows  them  over-well, 

Oh.  Cure  of  St.  Cyr's  I  Theodosia  Pickerina  Garrison. 


The   Social  Coimedy 


The  Invalid:    I  heard  the  other  day  of  a  doctor  who  operated    on    a    lady    for   appendicitis,  found  there  was 
absolutely  nothing  the  matter,  and  sent  her  a  bill  for  six  hundred  dollars. 
"Well,  that  wasn't  an  exceptional  case,  was  it?" 
"Oh,  yes,  it  was.    The  patient  recovered." 


The   Social  Comedy 


The   Social  Comedy 


• 


AN  OPTIMIST. 


The  Angel:    Don't  you  think  it's  a  shame  for  me  to  go  to  church  alone  every  Sunday?" 
The  Brute:    Oh,  I  don't  know.    You  might  be  doing  something  worse. 


The   Social  Comedy 


ON  THE  RIALTO. 


The  Villian  (jealous):  That  fellow  that  called  on  you  last  night  was  a  great  success,  I  suppose. 
The  Leading  Lady:     I  don't  know  when  I  have  been  more  pleased  with  my  surroundings. 


The    Social  Comedy 


The   Social  Comedy 


The   Social  Comedy 


The  Social  Comedy 


"I  see  the  President  commerds  war  as  a  means  of  keeping  alive  'the  great  fighting  virtues,'  and,  of  course,  war 
is  a  good  thing  while  it  lasts.  But,  after  all,  Charles,  do  you  feel  that  war  is  truly  profitable?  As  for  me,  unath- 
letic  as  I  am,  and  near-sighted,  I  could  hardly  do  excellent  work  in  war.  I  might  brain  a  child  or  two,  and  maybe 
shoot  some  women,  but  I  own  I  don't  find  the  idea  wholly  engaging,  and  in  the  spring  months  I  can  harden  my 
heart  more  agreeably  by  riding  a  bicycle  in  the  afternoon  down  Fifth  Avenue.  It's  a  good  hazard  all  the  way, 
and  there's  this  advantage  about  it,  that  you  don't  catch  fevers,  and,  if  you're  not  killed,  you  have  your  health." 


The  Social 


Comedy 


NOT  FOR  LOVE. 

Slic:    If  I  should  die,  I  know  you  would  marry  again. 
"But  if  I  did  it  would  be  for  money,  dear." 


The    Social  Comedy 


LONG  ON  BROTHERS. 


"How  would  you  like  to  have  me  for  a  brother,  little  girl?" 
"Go  on !    I  got  seven  brothers  now." 


The   Social  Coimedy 


The  Social  Comedy 


SUNRISE  BENEATH  THE  WAVES. 


The    Social  Comedy 


"My  dear  young  lady,  do  you  ever  think  of  marrying?" 
"Think  !    Why,  I  worry  !" 


The    SociaIv  Comedy 


The   Social  Comedy 


Mrs.  IV.:    Did  your  stenographer  address  those  "at  home"  cards  of  mine  to  the  list  I  gave  you? 
"Yes,  but  she  made  a  slight  error.    She  sent  them  to  a  list  of  our  creditors." 


The   Social  Comedy 


He:    A  multi-millionaire!    Absurd!    1  have  scarcely  a  million. 
"Never  mind,  dear.    I  will  be  so  economical." 


The   Social  Comedy 


The  Leading  Man:    He  is  a  great  manager  and  it  has  always  been  his  endeavor  to  uphold  the  actor's  rights. 
The  Soubrette :    And  to  "hold  up"  the  actor. 


The   Social  Comedy 


RIVALS. 

"Harriet,  that  pesky  dog  of  yours  has  given  me  fleas." 
"Dear  me,  Harry!    How  you  do  grumble!    You  ought  to  be  glad  they  are  on  you  instead  of  on  poor  little  Binkie.' 


The   Social  Comedy 


The   Social  Comedy 


The  Rejected:    And,  pray  what  constitutes  the  highest  happiness? 
"The  number  of  friends  one  has." 

"Then  I  ought  to  be  happy.    Every  girl  I  ever  proposed  to  lias  promised  to  be  a  friend  to  me." 


'The   Social  Coaiedy 


The   Social  Comedy 


"It  is  a  pretty  fable,  but  after  all,  Jack,  if  Galatea  had  had  any  experience  of  life  she  never  would  have  done  it. 
To  stand  upon  a  pedestal  and  be  forever  adored  is  a  better  job  than  to  live  in  a  flat  and  be  forever  changing  cooks. 
Venus  had  a  spite  against  all  pretty  woman,  Jack." 


The    Sociai,  Comedo- 


'I've  spent  fifteen  hundred  dollars  on  that  girl  in  the  last  six  months  and  now  she  refuses  me." 
"But  just  think  of  what  it  would  cost  if  she  had  accepted  you." 


The  Social 


Comedy 


His  Wife:    Good  bye,  dear.    Write  often,  if  it's  only  a  check. 


The    Social  Comedy 


UNDER  THE  MISTLETOE. 
A  bachelor's  Christmas  dream. 


The   Social  Comedy 


LIKE  GROWN-UPS. 

"Oh,  Gertrude!    So  naughty!    And  yet  you  prayed  this  morning  to  be  made  a  good  girl. 
"But,  mamma,  I  didn't  mean  right  away." 


The   Social  Comedy 


T  H  K 


Social 


C  ( )  :\i  K  1 )  Y 


NO  REASON  TO  DOUBT  IT. 

"Are  you  sure  you  love  my  daughter?" 
■'Well,  she  seems  to  think  so,  sir,  and  she  has  had  lots  of  experience  with  young  men,  you  know." 


The   Sociai.  Comedy 


THE  EXCEPTION. 


She:    All  the  world  loves  a  lover. 
Despairing  Suitor:    Yes,  excepting  the  other  fellow  who  loves  the  same  girl. 


The   Social  Coimedy 


"I  don't  know  which  would  be  the  more  considerate,  to  accept  or  reject  him.'' 
"The  one  he  would  get  over  soonest,  my  dear." 


T  H  ic    Social    Co  m  k  d  \' 


Slic:  Yes,  but  here  is  father;  he  was  born  in  New  York,  was  educated  at  Cokunhia,  and  inherited  his  money. 
I  call  him  a  typical  New  Yorker. 

He:    Sorry  not  to  agree  with  you. 
"Why  not,  pray  ?" 

"Because  the  typical  New  Yorker  is  born  either  in  Ohic;  or  Jerusalem,  has  made  his  money  himself,  and  ne\er 
wasted  any  time  on  education." 


The  Social 


C  O  INI  E  D  Y 


Mrs.  Dimpleton:    I  am  to  see  the  doctor  to-day,  and  I  know  he  will  insist  upon  my  going  abroad. 
Dimpleton:   No,  he  won't.   I  met  him  yesterday,  and  told  him  if  he  sent  you  abroad  I  couldn't  pay  his  bill. 


The   Social  Coimedy 


77i£'  Brother:    Shall  I  stick  her  for  a  lump  sum,  or  hold  it  over  her  as  a  perpetual  menace? 


The   Social  Comedy 


The   Social  Comedy 


Enthusiastic  Young  Miss:  To  think  of  your  being  a  real  literary  man!  I  do  so  long  to  know  how  you  write  things. 
Can  you  explain  it  ? 

Venerable  Hack:  It  is  the  simplest  thing.  You  have  a  mind  suitably  prepared.  You  pet  an  idea.  The  idea  beine 
introduced  into  the  mind  causes  fermentation,  during  which  a  scum  rises  to  the  top  and  is  carefully  removed,  leavmg  a 
residue  of  clear  thought.   This  you  bottle  up  for  your  own  use.    The  scum  you  sell  to  a  publisher. 


The   Social  Comedy 


A  SAGACIOUS  SUITOR. 

"Her  father  says  he  wants  me  to  demonstrate  first  that  I  can  earn  my  own  living.' 
"Are  you  going  to  try  it  ?" 

"What  for?    Why,  I  needn't  marry  her  in  that  case!" 


The   Social  Coimedy 


Charles  ( Inquiliir) :  It  is  quite  true,  father,  as  you  say,  that  our  religious  duties  are  of  signal  moment,  but 
they  are  often  perplexing,  and  some  of  them  often  seem  to  me  to  conflict  with  others.  Perhaps  you  and  I  could  cover 
the  ground  better  if  we  used  some  judicious  plan  of  co-operation.  Suppose,  for  example,  that  you  obey  the  in- 
junction, "Give  to  him  that  asketh,"  and  leave  me  to  supplement  your  efforts  by  taking  no  thought  for  the  morrow. 


The   Social  Comedy 


"The  chambermaid's  down  sick;  come  and  help  me  make  the  beds." 
"Impossible,  mamma,  dear.    I  have  just  ten  minutes  to  get  over  to  the  parish  house  to  the  meeting  of  tl 

Willing  Workers." 


The   Sociai,  Comedy 


He:   Yes,  dearest,  I  have  loved  before  we  met;  but  let  us  not  dig  up  the  past. 
"Oil,  all  right,  then  ;  if  you  don't  want  to  dig  up  the  past,  why  let's  not  dig  up  the  future  either.' 


The   Social  Comedy 


lie:    So  you  won't  kiss  and  make  up? 
"Well,  I  won't  make  up." 


The    Social  Comedy 


THE  GETTY  CENTER 
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